As I have stated before I have been in and out of the hobby repeatedly over the past decade. A big thing that has changed ever since the last time that I played any sort of tabletop wargame is the fact that I found out I have Asperger’s Syndrome. This, according to most experts, is a high-functioning form of Autism that manifests itself in ways such as having an exceptionally high IQ and being emotionally underdeveloped. To save on writing, feel free to read up on the Wiki page for a general impression of what it is all about.
To most outsiders (and sadly, some people close to me) I changed from a pretty average (if somewhat closed off) teenager into a whiny and dysfunctional adult within the space of a year or two. But what actually happened was that I realized I could finally stop pretending to be like everyone else and act like myself for a change. This meant I could be honest about very much disliking being around strangers (to the point where I will put off doing grocery shopping until there is absolutely no food left in my house), being proud of being a receptacle for the most random bits of knowledge and also feeling horribly awkward in any sort of social gathering involving people other than my father or girlfriend.
As you might imagine, a few of these things clash heavily with the wargaming hobby. One of the things I experienced first-hand was the fact that I now either need to get my father to pick up new stuff at the Games Workshop, or I have to order online. Because the way I get pounced upon by a staffer every time I walk in makes it impossible for me to visit my local Games Workshop store. Or the fact that most wargamers (around here anyway) tend to be slightly socially awkward themselves, making interacting with them in real life an absolute nightmare.
So when I moved out shortly after getting into the hobby again I decided to take matters into my own hands. As my father has shown some interest in Warhammer 40,000 ever since I first started I finally managed to get him to actually collect an army, making sure I always have at least 1 opponent to play against that I feel comfortable being around. And to enable me to play without having to brave the population of my local Games Workshop store I designated one of the spare rooms in my new house as the gaming room, with a sturdy custom-built modular gaming table to play on.
The one problem that this now poses is that I have a difficult time getting comfortable enough with new people to invite them into my house, as I am clinically obsessed with what other people think of me (a non-Asperger’s related and entirely different story). Not to mention that the online Dutch wargaming community is anything but organized. But these are at best small bumps in the road and should not pose a big problem in the long run.
After reading through what I have written above, I do realize that this is a very personal account of wargaming with Asperger’s and I am sure there are plenty of other people that also have Asperger’s that tend to disagree with the points I have put forward. If anyone has any questions regarding the subject, feel free to post them in the comments as I realize this post is anything but complete or even logical.
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